A Priceless Piece of Britneys 2007 Meltdown Could Be Yours

Do you ever wish you could go back to a simpler time in life? A time when the president wasn’t a reality TV star and the only news you felt compelled to keep up with was of the celebrity tabloid variety? A time like say, 2007? 2007 was truly a beautiful year. Steve Jobs unveiled the iPhone, but we’d all still keep using Blackberry for another 2-3 years until we realized what a real smartphone was. Literally every good Judd Apatow movie (Knocked Up, Superbad, etc…) was in theaters. Paris Hilton was released from prison and Britney Spears, well…Britney had seen better days. Yep, 2007 was the year of bald Britney’s iconic meltdown. Imagine being famous enough that the rapid deterioration of your mental health could be called “iconic?” That’s Britney, bitch. Well, 2007 Britney Spears lovers rejoice because a priceless memento from her – there’s that word again – iconic meltdown is up for auction and quite literally could be yours. 

So what is this incredible piece of Batshit Britney memorabilia? Well, you may remember that after Britney Spears shaved her head, she immediately followed that up by using an umbrella to attack a paparazzi car that was there to take pictures of her. Because the world works in strange and amazing ways, this exact umbrella is going to be up for auction next month.

Thats right, the dark green umbrella that crazy Britney used could be yours, as long as youre the highest bidder. The seller is Daniel Ramos – aka the guy whose car got attacked – and his expected price is somewhere close to $50,000. Yes, you read that right. Like enough money to buy 50 MacBooks or a thousand of the new Kim Kardashian contour kits. Basically, you cant fucking afford the umbrella.

So when the umbrella goes on auction on August 10th, rather than spending a shitload of money on what is literally just an umbrella, well listen to Piece of Me, a god damn classic work of art that perfectly encapsulates what Queen Britney was going through at the time. Say it with me ladies: If you cant handle me at my 2007 Britney, you dont deserve me at all.

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