Tips for dealing with a toddler and also Donald Trump

President Donald Trump speaks during a news conference with Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos.
Image: AP/REX/Shutterstock

Donald Trump is a man whose behavior follows the whim of his impulses and tantrums, much like a toddler, and the world is scrambling to accommodate it.

Officials in the White House and from governments around the globe have tailored aspects of governance to the new president to fit his notoriously short attention span and need for praise.

While most toddlers don’t have access to the nuclear codes, the advice for dealing with the president can also work for your kids at home.

Please keep your speeches really brief

Image: AP/REX/Shutterstock

The president’s attention span is not known for being long, and NATO officials are telling leaders around the globe to tighten their speeches to 2-4 minutes, lest the president’s mind wander, according to Foreign Policy.

Make sure you tell him how well he’s doing

hahaha

Image: AP/REX/Shutterstock

As president, Trump is often briefed on matters of national security. But Trump doesn’t much like to read, so National Security Council folks have had to take creative approaches to getting Trump to finish their briefings.

Something they’ve found that works? Mentioning his name in “as many paragraphs as we can,” one source told Reuters.

Remember, he doesn’t understand some things

Image: Peter Brooker/REX/Shutterstock

White House officials have tried many times and in many different ways to defend the president’s disclosure of classified information to Russian politicians during a meeting at the White House earlier this month.

What several of them did not say publicly but did anonymously tell The New York Times is that Trump couldn’t have divulged the ways and means of the U.S. intelligence-gathering processes because the president never bothered to learn them.

Just keep him happy with ice cream

Image: andrew Gombert/EPA/REX/Shutterstock

When desert is some pie with a side of ice cream, everyone gets a single scoop. Unless you’re the president, in which case you get twice as many scoops.

Remember, if the worst capitulation you agree to is ice cream, you’re probably doing fine.

Speak soothingly

Image: Jim Cole/AP/REX/Shutterstock

When Trump is upset, he has his friends speak soothing sounds to him over the phone. Those friends include Fox News Executive Chairman Rupert Murdoch, Fox News anchor Sean Hannity, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, and a few billionaires. Richer friends/parents than a toddler is likely to have, but you get the idea.

Bonus: Truck photos

Remember that time Trump hopped inside a truck and smushed his face “into an excited scream” for the cameras?

Trump gets in the driver’s seat of an 18-wheeler while meeting with truck drivers and trucking CEOs.

Image: jim LO SCALZO/EPA/REX/Shutterstock

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